The Write To Freedom

In The Case Of Celibacy

2010-05-31T19:44:00.000-07:00

So I read an article today about 12 Italian women writing an open letter to the Pope. Their request: Kill the rule of celibacy for priests.

I don’t know what the true intention behind the request is. Some of these women claim to have had sex with priests in the past and are appealing to the natural needs and desires of these priest. I had even some time ago, felt as if priest should be allowed to have sex in order to curve their appetite for young boys. But a pedophile is a pedophile no matter what title he hides behind, and the freedom of sex being taken away should not naturally create an affinity for young boys.

So I have reconsidered my stance on celibacy. There is nothing wrong with it. People become celibate for different reasons, and the one reason that sold me on it was the possibility for greater spiritual enlightenment. It is a challenge for those of us who consider sex as an important routine part of our lives, but it is not a necessity. I read, that a lot of these priest feel a shameful for engaging in sex or at least having the desire to. I guess if these religious institution would stop demonizing sex, people would make more mindful decisions about it. My heart breaks for priests who desire to have healthy hetero or homosexual relationships with other adults, BUT If there are priest who feel like they cannot resist the urge to merge, then it would behoove them to consider another profession.

Know Which Men to Need

2009-06-10T03:33:00.000-07:00

Espousing the belief that, as a woman, I do not need a man is a rather faulty position, when the fact remains that spiritually we were created as complements of one another. In all of Creation you will find the Divine self expressing itself in ways that are primarily either masculine or feminine. My own spiritual beliefs cause me to understand that neither is complete; neither fully defines or encapsulates what or who the Creator IS without being paired with its opposite. Thus, up cannot be fully understood unless we know down, and loud is nothing without silence. And woman is incomplete without man.

When I find myself expressing my Divine self, I have to acknowledge that I do so primarily as a woman. To some degree I can hold and express masculine qualities but I cannot deny the truth of my earthly limitations. I do exist within a womanly body. I have a womb which allows me to bear children and breasts which allow me to nurture them. I have a soft heart and an emotional disposition. I am not unnecessarily irrational but I allow love and compassion to play a large part in my relationships with others.

The hurtful, painful part comes about when we, as women, fail to hold standards upon which we evaluate the men in our lives. When we give our hearts, bodies, and minds away to members of the opposite sex solely on the virtue of their possession of a penis. The mistake is not in trusting men, but in trusting the wrong men.

I consider myself fortunately to be part of a spiritual system which instructs me on how to know whether or not I am dealing with people who are living their lives in accordance with the same standards, values, and morals as me. When I find myself interacting with someone who believes in truth and justice and who is daily working to maintain his righteous character, what would be my reason not to trust him? When I know that his life is devoted to God, and his respect for Divine law guides his every decision, action, thought, and word, then I can trust this man, because his life is in God, and I can surely trust the Creator.

When I choose to put my hopes, dreams, trust, and faith in a man who has not proven to be right or righteous, who has not proven to be a man of intellect, reason, and goodness, who does not believe in a higher power or who does not devote his life to God, then I am gambling with my own physical and emotional well-being. For if this man will play loosely with his own life, what will he do when I put mine in his hands?

At the end of the day, every heterosexual woman who has ever said she doesn't need a man... WANTS one. No woman wants to live alone, and no woman would choose a life without a family and a mate if the option were presented to her. So choose to hold the men in your life to a higher standard and expect him to be a strong, intelligent, righteous, devoted, and ethical man that you can trust to fulfill his responsibilities towards you as a man, and to respect and appreciate your womanhood. A man with whom you are glad to respect, honor, and love.

Snt Embahra

Accept The Unacceptable

2009-02-10T04:59:00.000-08:00

By Saundra Bunton

In the movie Kung Fu Panda, the wise elder Oogway reminds the sensei that we must relinquish the illusion of control. “Yes,” he says, “you can control where to plant the seeds. But no matter how badly you want this tree to be an apple tree, or a pear tree, it will never grow into anything but a peach tree. It can only be what it is.”

I was not expecting such wisdom to attack me in the middle of a children’s cartoon movie, but I was delightfully impressed by the wisdom displayed in the movie, particularly in the scene quoted above. Here is a lesson, I thought, that most adults have a hard time understanding or digesting on a regular basis. How many problems could we solve in this world if people truly understood that “it can only be what it is.”

In order to survive in this world we have to have relationships with other people, and I don’t just mean romantic relationships either. We have to speak to our boss at work and deal with the people who collect tickets on the train. We sometimes have to ask questions at the supermarket and we have to be prepared to interact with the cashiers. We cannot get through an entire day without speaking to or dealing with another person in some capacity and we certainly cannot determine who that person will be.

What we can determine is who that person will meet when you interact with them. What person are you going to be? Are you determined to remain steadfast or are you going to allow them to affect your reality?

The truth is, you cannot force another person to cosign your reality and you cannot make them be who you want them to be. But you can choose to be strong enough in your convictions that they cannot negatively influence you without your permission.

The people around us can only be who they are, who they have chosen to be. It is up to us to choose who it is we want to be.

Snt Embahra

Bailing Out Our Genitals

2009-02-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

By Cherina Jones

Conservatives never want to talk about sex honestly. A lot of them are religious zealots who avoid the subject all together. They implore teenagers to practice abstinence, as if they never got that funny sensation between their legs at the age of 12. Sure abstinence is all about self control, but it is a hard sell when teenagers are misinformed about sex to begin with. Meanwhile, while conservatives pat their backs about how pure thinking and upstanding they are, some 13 year old virgin is getting piped down in the back of a minivan somewhere in Minnesota—yes, it’s not just hood children who have a problem with keeping their dicks in their pants.

We don’t want to talk about AIDS. We don’t want to talk about teen pregnancy, but we tend to bump our gums in judgment when teens become pregnant or contract AIDS. We should come out of the womb knowing exactly how our bodies function and what is and is not good for them?
Please, we’re not hardly that evolved.

I was amused by Ruben Navarrette Jr. commentary about some of the items listed in Obama’s (and the democrits) bailout plan. He is highly critical of the millions of dollars being given for child care, STD prevention and birth control. He doesn’t buy into this being a good way to stimulate the economy. I don’t completely buy the resolve either, especially for a quick fix. I do think it is absurd to argue the disassociation between population and economy, because I am sure if some families had less mouths to feed they could pay for that heat that was just sliced five minutes ago. To me, the math is easy. That is not to say we don’t appreciate our little bundles of joy, but some of us love them because they’re here, not because we planned it that way. No one plans eight children on a $29,000 a year income—no one.

I got all red and bothered inside when he said “You know the nation's cupboard is bare when politicians propose limiting the number of births as a way of improving the economy. That's a conversation we shouldn't be having.” Don’t get me wrong Rube, I think that is a lot of money towards a long term solution, especially since we need a more “right now” solution. But, when are we suppose to have this conversation? If the world were left up to conservatives we’d NEVER have the conversation. People who want to have sex are not bad people, nor are they disobeying God, and although having or not having sex is about self control, it is a natural body function and craving. People are going to have sex, there, I said it. Preaching about how precious your daughter’s virginity is, is sweet, even little house on the prairie like, but believe me, she is no Laura Ingalls. Sure, ideally we would like our children’s first sexual experience to be with someone they’ll be with forever, reproduce with and have beautiful children. Many people, MANY people don’t experience this story, and no matter how much you illustrate it as being the best way, it rarely becomes a reality.

Now that we are back to planet earth, it’s fair to say that conservatives need to loosen their belts a bit. You’re kid will probably have sex before they go to college, and I’m not talking the night before you pack the car either. Educating people in general, will indeed help our economy. Information helps people make better decisions. I believe that hands down. When we send our wild youth into the wilderness with their genitalia, we NEED to make sure they have the information they need to hopefully NOT have sex—but they will, so we can either accept it or continue to let them die or grow up in “non-traditional” homes with little to no support. The decision is ours.

The Sanctity of Questionable Behavior

2009-01-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

By Cherina Jones

I came across this video on a message board. In general I was disgusted. My secondary thought was that I was afraid for these women. My last, but somehow not so fleeting thought was, rape. Young women are often preached to about how to present themselves. We are taught to act like young ladies, hands folded, legs crossed, and encouraged to hold unto our virginities for the right man. Men are taught that “men are men,” as a subtle way to say, “put your dick anywhere.” The double standards between men and women at times makes no sense to me, and to teach young men that lack of self control is OK or a trait of being a man is pretty played at this point.

The question was asked, whether or not these women deserved to be touched. You would think a resounding “hell no” would cover it, but men and women alike argue that what you have on can give others the right to make you a sexual buffet. Really? Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of women dress for attention and that speaks to insecurities, and I am sure they expect and want men to notice. It however becomes an issue of safety when a woman can grab the attention of a mob of men, tempting them to act—tempting, not telling.

Sure, when you go to the club, expect inappropriate things to happen. Nice conversation and an exchange about what your favorite movie is, is probably not going to happen. To expect to be respected is not so unrealistic, but horniness and alcohol does not produce a respectable night.

The moral of this story is simple really, even though we know how men should act, we need to be real honest with ourselves as women as to how they are going to act. I saw the angry faces of some of these women in that video, who walked through that crowd of men—drive by ass slapping in progress. But as women we have the responsibility to be mindful as well. Wear what you wear, but if you don’t want to be touched, slapped or fondled, why test the waters by sashaying through a crowd of sexually uncontrolled men who clearly can’t keep their hands to themselves? Women who do this WANT the attention, but they are not prepared most times for when that want becomes reality and spirals out of control. Yeah I know homegirl, you should be able to walk down the street butt ass naked, daring a muthafucka to touch your voluptuous bod (yes bod), but that is not how a lot of men choose to act when you go to clubs like these. Be mindful, travel in groups and most of all, carry your mace.

In My Ear. Out My Head

2009-01-14T07:48:00.003-08:00

By Cherina Jones

Every year the title of “greatest rapper alive” gets passed around like black eyed peas at Thanksgiving dinner. Old and new rappers alike are boastful about how the have or will change the “game.” The conversation has become boring and frankly mainstream rap seems to be more defined by who produces, rather than who spits on a track. Back in the day when a song came on the radio, you didn’t have to sit through 30 seconds of a the producer shouting his/her name at the beginning of a track.

Sure, any song that you want to popularize needs to be catchy. You need a dope hook that is virtually unforgettable. Now a days you have to also have some kind of unique appeal (read as “swag”). Shit, it seems like all you need now is a hook and a dream—ask Soulja Boy. It’s not a diss, and it’s not “hate” either. There is a hell of a lot of room for listeners to be critical of artists, and quite frankly the wackness needs to come to a indefinite pause.

I could be wrong though. Perhaps mainstream hip hop is morphing into something that will win back some of its once loyal listeners; maybe she is just experiencing growing pains and we need to be patient. Although I grew up in the eighties, I’m not married to the 80’s hip hop music. Despite my criticisms of the mainstream rap game, I’m pretty open to new music and the evolution of rap music, but our expectations of mainstream rap have become virtually obsolete. We fall back and praise the underground cats for their heart and love for what many may characterize as “real” hip hop music. But underground means just that, underground. It means that “real” hip hop is NOT getting into the hands of mainstream rap heads.

Real hip hop doesn’t have anything to do with “consciousness,” a word so inappropriately and carelessly used by many people. I have heard some people say that no one wants to hear that conscious shit all the time—I agree, we don’t. I like to shake my ass like the next person, but I am completely turned off when a raw beat hits my speaker and some self proclaim “greatest” begins to mumble unconscionable phrases, filling the track with braggadocio rants, and call that shit dope. It seems like the hunger for the art itself is missing, clever word play is inconsistent, solid rhyme schemes are no longer needed, and unique storytelling seems to be a thing of the past.

I know people are trying to get their pockets lined correctly. Hip Hop has become quite the lucrative business venture for many cats. Smart people such as Jay-z, Russell Simmons and Sean Combs have turned their love for Hip Hop into corporate cash cows, and it has worked successfully for them. When the motivation is money though, doing anything for a buck becomes quite the reality. It becomes about a look, about your swag. You retire your pen and you become a puppet, allowing white men in suits to pull your strings and control your tongue.

I love music, period. I listen to a lot of shit, but I think the quality of mainstream rap music has hit an all time low. I’m all for creativity, but some things are not creative. Having your shit all over the radio doesn’t always mean you're the most talented person, sometimes it just means you have some EXCELLENT PR people.

Radio and music executives will tell you, they play music the people want, but I am a member of “the people,” and I surely didn’t ask for this shit.

Cultural Common Sense

2009-01-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

By Cherina Jones

It was wrong for AirTran to kick a Muslim family of seven off of its plane. Anyone who believes differently has successfully played into the bigoted corporate thug politics of a lot of American companies. I’m not surprised in the least to be reading this. If a white family of seven had been discussing amongst themselves, where the safest place to sit on a plane was, I am sure they could have found three or more people to chime into their pondering. Shit, I think about it every time I board a plane, “If this plane were to fall, am I safer over the wing, on the engine or next to the captain?” I had no idea thinking such a thing could get me ushered off a plane and stuck in a small room looking at FBI agents. Thank GOD I kept my thoughts to myself.

Any idiot should understand the tragedy in all of this. It is another reminder that white supremacy is still doing the shuffle on our so called American liberties. These kinds of stories further prove how often Muslims are demonized in this country. It makes me wonder if we all are a bit too reluctant in championing intolerance of this kind. The myth of the homogenization of racial bias in this country is dangerous. Shunning cultures and sub-cultures further confuses this Rubik’s cube of colors and heritages we call America. Quite frankly I think a lot of us need to get over ourselves. The moronic concerns of passengers on that plane were addressed because of the intolerance stained in the centers of their logic. We’ve disallowed genuine experiences with others based upon what we’ve heard with our ears and not touched with our hands.

Apologies are cool—I can dig a nice big sincere one, but I doubt that this corporate sponsored apology was heart felt. Fuck culture sensitivity courses, instead, how about we just stop taking ourselves so seriously. We can avoid a lot of dumb shit that way.

Escaping Reality; Come Back to Earth

2008-12-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

By Glennisha Morgan

On a daily basis most of us escape reality without even knowing it. Every time we turn on the television in attempt to watch a show we’re escaping reality. Even watching “reality” TV is escaping reality. When we read books and magazines we take seconds away from our own lives to peer into others even if they are fiction. Sometimes we don’t even need things like television and books to escape reality. We may often find ourselves in a daze while painting fantasy like pictures in our minds. This, like the rest helps us escape.

Sometimes we may not even realize what exactly we’re escaping from. Maybe it’s a rough day at work or an ongoing argument with a significant other. It doesn’t always have to be that deep either. We may escape something as simple as minor stress from standing in a long line at the grocery store or trouble finding a parking space. There is nothing wrong with escaping reality but, sometimes we need to come back to earth.

When we become too far gone in a fantasy world we tend to forget what’s real. There is a problem when you can’t see the forest from the trees. If you notice that you’re a little out of touch with the “real world” I’d advise that you turn off the television, put down the magazines, and stop fantasizing.

Don’t Blame It On Religion

2008-12-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

By Cherina Jones

When you talk about religion and politics, someone is likely to walk away with a broken ego or broken nose—or both. People take their politics and god seriously, so we are always warned to walk light. But most times we go hard, with every intention of breaking up the beliefs of our opponents, noting how trivial and nonsensical their logic is. Granted if everyone believed the same, this would be a pretty boring world. We fuck with each other for entertainment. I get it.

I use to go hard on religion with people, especially after my salvation OUT of religion. Not finding God the way I was seeking it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Like a kid with a new toy, it was my sincere mission to usher people over to my way of thinking. I set out to prove how idiotic and hypocritical it was to “serve” god, at least how I was taught. After awhile what I was doing made even less sense. I was doing what a lot of religious folk do when speaking about their religion. I was telling them they were wrong and they should think like me. I became an asshole who was no more enlightened than a crooked Baptist preacher screwing the whole missionary board.

Religion is not corrupt—people are. Religion is used as a status symbol and stage to entertain egos. I’ve realized that many people need religion and the reasoning is far less spiritual than one can assume. If a young woman says she refuses to kill because she belongs to the Greater Emmanuel Hezekiah Walker Tubman Phyllis Dillard COGIC international Baptist Holiness church, and her pastor says so, then I am glad she found religion. I am sure I wouldn’t agree with the doctrine, but she does, and it is that doctrine that keeps her out of the streets and into the safety of like minded individuals.

I’m not saying the practice of religion can’t be dangerous, because erroneous application of any doctrine to suit desires and misdeeds is a recipe for disaster. We see corruption all the time, priests raping and molesting children, pastors committing adultery with other church staff, monies being stolen from church organizations to support the personal habits of preachers and pastors, and people killing themselves and others in the name of their god. It’s actually pretty disgusting when you think about it.

I don’t follow any specific religion. I probably never will again. In no way am I anti-religion, because I think certain people need certain things to keep them balanced and spiritually strong. I don’t necessarily believe that, from what I hear, churches are completely devoted to the individual spiritual growth of their parishioners, but that is not for me to judge. I do believe that church organizations need to strengthen whatever spiritual foundation they have and leave the rest alone. Church “corporations” scare me. What this world needs right now is healing, and healing can’t come from showering each other with irrelevant criticism about how they acknowledge or don’t acknowledge god. There are far more people who acknowledge god than not, and for those who don’t—let them be. Spiritual freedom given or taken by force is really not freedom at all.

I implore people to put aside petty religious difference. There is a greater goal and challenge ahead that we all will participate in, and frankly there is no time to bicker over bullshit.

Out of Turn

2008-12-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

by Cherina Jones

Today I read that De’angelo Wilson committed suicide. It hit me personally because De’angelo went to Kent State with me. We met when I worked at the student center and we would hang out sometimes. I remember when he told a couple of us that he was going to Hollywood—I didn’t believe him. A friend later told me that he was in the movie 8 mile, and I later saw him in Antwon Fisher. I was happy that he was able to set a goal for himself and achieve it. Personal victories are always sweet and most times catapult us into more successful endeavors, so imagine my surprise to hear he had hung himself.

No doubt everyone will go. As sure as you live, physically you will also die. Most of us don’t think about dying because we are too busy living, but it is always discouraging to know that there are people battling demons, convincing them to die. Suicide can’t be a noble option when life has challenged you so much you cease finding value in yourself. I don’t know what specifically causes depression, and I am sure the triggers are different for each person.

Due to the onset of this economic recession I am sure people are feeling helpless and hopeless. Situations are presenting themselves that can’t seem to be fixed by a “hang in there.” But words of encouragement never hurt. Going forward, it is going to be up to all of us as individuals to encourage each other. It is the power of our interconnectedness that will sustain us in the coming years.

I am always sad when young people commit suicide. Young people hold our futures in the center of their palms, and the more discouraged they are, the more discouraging our future begins to look. You never know what people are going through. We don’t live inside our own private bubbles unfortunately. What we do and say surely affect those around us.

As I mature and learn more, I have grown patience. We all have bad days, but we are not all aware of what others are going through. Sometimes your concern for others can depend on whether or not they feel like fighting another day.

Granted I didn’t know the person De’Angelo had become and it is unfortunate that he decided to end his life so abruptly, but it emphasizes the urgency placed on us to think and feel outside our own bubbles, our own islands. We are entering a moment in time that calls for us to take care of each other, to sift out what we know to be true, and shift into what we thought to be impossible. I am not expecting everyone to hold hands, hug and sing Kumbaya, but then again, it wouldn’t hurt.

Growing Up

2008-12-02T07:11:00.000-08:00

By Saundra Bunton

Over the course of this Thanksgiving weekend, I spent a lot of time listening to Beyonce's new album, I Am... Sasha Fierce. Knowing some people who are hardcore fans of hers, I called them up to share with them my apparent surprise at the quality of her song choices. I was particularly impressed with the ballads as well as several of the more upbeat songs. As Beyonce and I are about the same age I have been insistent for several years now that her music should be maturing as she does, and I felt, with this album, that she had begun to move in that direction, which pleased me to no end.

Oddly enough, those people who I spoke to about her album were a bit less enthused. In fact, they were ready to throw away their fan club membership cards.

You should know that this is not about Beyonce. This is about disappointment.

This morning I was reading a book titled Complementarity. In one passage the author states that in Western society people are encouraged to maintain an immature childlike state all throughout their adulthood. This is evidenced in our appreciation for material possessions over spiritual development, as well as our greed and need to hoard items and money, living well past our means and owning way more than we'll ever need. Look no further than hip-hop if you need assistance with understanding this concept.

Hip-hop has nurtured an entire generation of folks who have no intention of growing up, a generation of people who resent anyone who does. It is insane that one should expect that an artist is going to stay the same throughout his/her entire career. Jay-Z suffered through the same criticism when he released his Kingdom Come album in 2006. Fans commented that he had lost touch with his roots and forgot where he came from, but the truth is that Jay-Z is not the same man today that he was when he recorded Reasonable Doubt. He has been president of Def Jam. He is recently married. He has been in a committed relationship for at least eight years. He is not standing on anyone's corner, selling anyone's drugs -- that is no longer his reality. How can you expect him to continue to talk about a life that he no longer has to live?

Rather than being happy that he has grown out of that stage in his life, rather than embracing the natural evolution that we all must eventually take, hip-hop has wholeheartedly embraced the Westernized and incredibly capitalist perspective that one must remain a perpetual child in order to be liked and appreciated.

This isn't just the standard that we hold up for artists. There are so many people who should have well outgrown the teenage stages of hip-hop and have yet to do so. Men in their forties and fifties who have no stocks, no bonds, no 401K, who continue to wear their jeans around their knees and rock backwards caps to the club. Women who have three and four children putting on the same miniskirts that they wore to their high school homecoming dance. What kind of examples are you setting for our children? When is it time for you to grow up?

So, I'm disappointed. That's what this is about. I have never liked Beyonce but I give props where props are due -- she proved with this album that she is maturing and that she is capable of taking her artistry to a more adult place. Unfortunately her fans seem to be unforgiving. And that's what disappoints me.

Good Old-Fashioned Nigga Hate

2008-11-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

By Saundra Bunton

We discussed the recent outburst of criticism that has surrounded Barack Obama ever since his historic election day win. People who two or three months ago were shaving his name and image into the backs of their heads. Who were contemplating naming their firstborn Barack or Baracka. People who thought that he could do no wrong and who questioned anyone who even considered voting for someone else, anyone who took the right to vote seriously and tried to do so responsibly. People who bought up every piece of Obama 08 paraphernalia they could get their hands on.

Now all of a sudden Obama is only half-Black. Now all of a sudden he's a no good Uncle Tom because his agenda doesn't speak only and directly to Black america. Now we can't depend on him to care anything about what we need as a people or a constituency. Now he doesn't know what it means to be Black.

Call me crazy but that sounds like good old-fashioned nigga hate.

Our accomplishments are never good enough for us. We are either tearing someone down because we believe that their successes have pulled them out of touch with our struggles, or we are condemning someone because they have failed to prove what Black folks are capable of. All the while we are sitting at the sidelines not doing a damn thing or making a single ripple in the pond because we are too afraid of catching the heat from our brothers and sisters.

It is a serious shame that this is what we are still going through but I've been reminded that we have only been free, truly free, for the past forty-three years. That is nothing in the grand scheme of things. But we can't always blame our pessimism and our lack of motivation and our slave mentality on conditions outside of ourselves. At some point or another we have to realize that we keep choosing to see the glass as half-empty.

I don't expect for Barack Obama to come sweeping through Black neighborhoods like Spiderman, rescuing us from the Green Goblin and Venom and whatever other villains terrorize us. Mostly because the villainous afflictions that we suffer from are primarily mental. Obama cannot force you to hope or dream or believe in a better tomorrow. He can show you the light, can be an example of that light, but you have to choose to step into that light. You have to choose to embrace the light and to allow yourself to begin to shine.

I had intended not to talk about anything election-related in my next post because I don't want to dwell on Obama's victory. But his victory has reminded me of how much we still treat each other like crabs in a barrel. So this is actually not about him, but about you. Yes you. You crabby negro who keeps snapping away at any crab who dares climb up too high.

America Gets It Wrong...Again.

2008-11-10T14:27:00.001-08:00

by Cherina Jones

There is this argument that many people who supported the gay marriage ban in California did so to protect their pastors and churches. It has been stated that gays and lesbians will have the right to sue pastors and churches or have them jailed for not performing gay weddings. I am not familiar with the language of proposition 8, but in defense of many gays and lesbians, no one wants to be where they are not welcome. There are plenty of LGBT affirming religious institutions that would welcome gay and lesbian weddings. Being wed by pastors who don’t have your best interest in mind or don’t support your union is not beneficial to any couple gay or straight.

Any proposition or amendment should not force anyone to perform a marriage ceremony. Equally, no proposition or amendment should take away the right for two adults to be married, gay or straight. There should be no crime in loving someone. When two heterosexual people love each other, the inevitable result is typically marriage. They desire to create a home for themselves and raise a family like any other heterosexual couple would. The inevitability for homosexuals is that we will be together with our partners, unprotected by the law, unable to obtain the same benefits that heterosexual couples have. Our unions are disregarded as flings and phases. We are ridiculed and disrespected because of who we are and who we love.

The result of proposition 8 proves how far behind we sill are as country. I am always amazed when the sanctity of marriage is raised to refute homosexual unions, as if the near 50% divorce rate in this country is indicative of that sanctity. I am disappointed to know that there are millions of gay and lesbian couples who have been together for years, and understand the sanctity of what marriage really means. I am disheartened to realize that those gay and lesbian couples will not have an opportunity to celebrate their union in ways in which their heterosexual peers take it for granted. There are many men and women who have been married and divorced several times, being able to exercise their right to marriage at the drop of a hat. What if a proposition passed that restricted people to one marriage? I suppose there would be protests and aggressive resistance. I am sure there would be chants about how impractical and asinine such a law would be. There would be people defending their right to fall in love—again. The problem with that, whether heterosexual or homosexual, no one should have to fight for their right to love openly and freely. We still have a lot of work to do.

Free At Last?

2008-11-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

By Cherina Jones

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today. He and I are among five blacks who work for our firm (there are over 100 people in our office). He shared with me that now that Barack Obama is President, black people don’t have anything to complain about. Troubled by his sentiments, I launched into how that is complete bullshit.

It has been a tired myth that most black people complain. We are ostracized in the media as peddling the government for handouts and complaining about racism like it is some colorful illusion. Racism is very much sewn into the fabric of our society. Noting the existence of racism is not a complaint, nor are the effects of racism that people live with daily.

I, nor the people in my circle complain or make excuses. We recognize the institutionalization of racism, and how its subtle presence makes an overt impact on our lives, but we keep it pushing, like most black people do. Too often black people are canonized as a people who seek freebies and comfortable rides down “easy street.” This image of black folks conflicts greatly with our legacy in this country. We could not have progressed this far without the appreciation for the fundamentals of hard work. The news and media will always underscore the less flattering aspects of our community, but we should know better.

There are many Harriet Tubmans, Sojourner Truths, Marcus Garveys and Nat Turners, who are very instrumental in our communities today. There are poor and middle class people seeking to achieve the American dream, who would scoff at the notion that they are not hard workers or that they are looking for excuses. Failure in the black community in any capacity falls squarely on the shoulders of the greater community. We cannot settle righteously in our success with a tilted nose at those who are still struggling up the mountain of success. Success is subjectively multi-tiered and takes some longer to achieve than others. We fail miserably in our assessment and critique of our black community. We quickly and sharply offer criticisms about how people should live without the balance of praise, reflection and appreciation for our history and accomplishments as people.

Obama’s victory was not the peak of our success. It does however, show the world what we have already known, that we are a capable and progressive people. We will have arrived when we can clean the stain of white supremacy from our hearts and over all consciousness. When we can achieve true universal equality, then we will have arrived. Racism is not an excuse, it’s a fact.

Victory for Our Elders

2008-11-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

By Saundra Bunton

My grandmother passed in July. She had been ill for a long time and I was thankful at the time that she was going to a better place, where her suffering would come to an end. Since then I have thought of her often but I have not experienced sorrow at her passing or wished she was here. Until today.

The victory of this election is not mine. Even though I voted, even though millions of other young people voted in record numbers, the victory belongs to none of us. It belongs instead to my grandmother and yours, to the men and women of her generation, to the people who suffered through Jim Crow and fought for a better life and world for all of us.

That world may not be here yet, but we would not be on the horizon of history had it not been for them.

I miss my grandmother today, because I know that all those years of humiliation and pain made her better equipped to appreciate this great triumph, and more deserving of this experience than I. I miss her because she was the type of woman who cheered for Black achievement no matter what they were trying to accomplish. I miss her because she knew fully what it meant to have the audacity to hope and because she inspired me from my core to always believe in the possibilities. I miss the excitement in her voice and the joy that would have been sure to come across her face.

If you are fortunate enough to have your grandparents or great-grandparents in your life, be sure to bask in the glow of this historic occasion with them, because we know in our minds what they are able to feel in their hearts. Remind them that their struggle was not in vain. Thank them for the trials and tribulations that they pushed through and the sacrifices that they made. Tell them that this victory is for them, this day that many of them never thought they would live to see and some of them did not. Allow them to inspire you with their stories and instill in you the lesson that what you do today will surely enhance tomorrow.

The Courage to Believe

2008-11-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

By Cherina Jones

Long ago I left the black church. My reasoning was personal. I had grown tired of the hypocrisy I had witnessed. The anxiety I felt, fearing that my innermost feelings and thoughts may be exposed was too much for me. I had claimed salvation may times during my journey in Christianity. I never knew exactly what that meant, I just knew that I wanted my parents to be proud and for God not to hate me. The gruesome pictures of what an afterlife in hell would be if I did not succumb to the power of the holy spirit placed an unnatural fear in me that I could never shake.

It is no secret that the black gay community and the black church are at odds about God and morality. The black church most often publicly denounces homosexuality. Homosexuality, it seems, coming from the mouth of the black church, is high on the list of worst “sins.” If you have ever attended a black church regularly you probably have sat through many fiery sermons about the evils of homosexuality. I am sure we all have heard what has become much of a cliché, “God made Adam and Eve—not Adam and Steve.” These sermons prod at the esteem of those young men and women who know in their hearts they cannot change their sexual orientation. Vilified and stereotyped, some gays and lesbians who continue to attend these so called organizations of love, doubt their relationship with God and their entrance into the pearly gates of heaven.

We have all heard the stories about young men and women proclaiming to be delivered from homosexuality. These stories are often laced with the cheers of “you can do it too!” Most of these people concern themselves with the deliverance of your soul. They are told, as Christians often are, to win over souls for “the lord.” I suppose there will be millions of Christians lined up in heaven to receive their free toaster ovens for every 100 persons they “won” for Christ. I say that jokingly, but the spiritual turmoil that many of us have faced is very real. To be shamed into a faith where a God is suppose to love you unconditionally is not only oxymoronic, but misleading and deceitful. The hypocrisy of the black church perhaps is noted throughout its history, and at times black Christian leaders are taken to task for their “sins.” At the end of the day however, the tragedy is not in the corruption of the black church, but how many gay men and women are doubting their own spirituality.

The challenge for those of us who believe in the necessity of spirituality is finding support. I left the black church without the support of many of the people who had loved me as a heterosexual. It is interesting how one can be convinced that God’s love does not stretch across the line of sexual orientation. I needed to be okay with who I was. I needed God to be okay with me as well. It was shortly after I left the black church that I began to question the existence of God all together. I tried to wrap my mind around atheism, and began to birth a whole new respect for atheists. The version of God that was fed to me as a young person had become so vile and despicable in my eyes. I pinned God as a hypocrite and convinced myself that I could not love a God who clearly couldn’t love me.

Those times were transitional. Those times were challenging.

After I emerged from the ashes of anger and resentment, I knew I had to seek deeper. Instinctively I knew that how I had perceived God all of these years was in fact wrong. I never became an atheist and frankly even with the knowledge I have about spirituality and God, I don’t understand atheism as I once did. It is perhaps how I see God that contributes to my lack of understanding. I still respect atheists, many of whom are very enlightened.

I sought the support of like minded, like hearted individuals. I often hear that it is the message, not the messenger that is most important. As I grow and learn, I simply find that hard to believe. You can’t be an instrument of love if you carry around an exception list. Like any living thing, we need to be nurtured in order for us to grow healthy. The caretaking of our spiritual selves can be no different. It is my belief that our spiritual selves are our true essence, and the physical self is just a reflection of who we are spiritually. If you have a plant and you keep it in a dark space, water it rarely and talk negatively to it, the likelihood that it will continue to live is minimal. The environment where you position the plant is just as important as the water you feed it; our spirits are no different.

I am not rallying all gays and lesbians to leave their churches. Gays and lesbians should consider their spiritual environment and assess whether that environment supports their growth. We often financially support these institutions that do not provide the kind of spiritual support that embraces who we truly are. We suffocate ourselves by indulging in rhetoric that simply spiritually counts us out because we are gay. We lotion ourselves with guilt and drown ourselves in shame, which at times tragically plays itself out through suicides.

We are a community of people who love God, in whatever form we choose. We should continue to support each other spiritually and climb out of the dry shadows of homophobic religious rhetoric. Find God within yourself and understand that God truly loves without exception.

To Be or Not To Be

2008-11-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

By Glennisha Morgan

Halloween. Why people get so gassed up for this not so holiday? I don’t know but, I think I have some what of an idea. People grab at the opportunity to be someone else. Some people would dress up and wear a mask everyday if they could. Some people actually do. They may not dress up but, they wear a mask. Truthfully, while being someone else some people are really just being themselves. Or on Halloween they become who they are afraid to be in real life.

For instance, the spoiled little girl that wants to be a “princess” every Halloween. Or take the promiscuous woman who dresses up as a “prostitute”. What about the little boy that always tries to save his mother from the hand of his father? Superman or some type of hero will be his choice. What about the girl who secretly freestyles in her room every night and dresses up as Hip Hop on Halloween?

My question is: why wait until October 31st to express who you really are? Or better yet why don’t we “just be” instead of worrying about what others think? We should never have to wait until a designated day to be who we want to be. Just as we shouldn’t have to wait around for Christmas to give people gifts.

Apathy

2008-10-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

By Saundra Bunton

ApathyA fifth grader galvanized an entire community. A fifth grader.

In fifth grade most of us are ten or eleven years old. This child drafted a petition, gathered signatures, wrote her argument and convinced City Council to see things her way. (For complete details on this story see: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081029/ap_on_re_us/scared_town_s_halloween)

While the story is phenomenal and I am inspired by this young girl's motivation I am disheartened by what it indicates.

Her success simultaneously sheds light onto our failure. Healthy, mentally stable adults cannot petition their local Boards of Education for new computers, new books, better facilities for their own children. Strong, able-bodied adults are not inspired to volunteer to help others in local soup kitchens and clothing drives. Adults who have lived "successfully" their entire lives cannot pull themselves from in front of the television long enough to pursue their true dreams or challenge the status quo.

We are lazy.

This child saw what she wanted and saw that her goal was within her reach. What she accomplished was not difficult but it did require her to be steadfast and work hard. This is nothing more than what is required of any of us but somehow most of us find it impossible to give at this level. And I am not merely talking about giving for others but some of us cannot even give this type of dedication to our own selves, to our own interests and ideas and goals. Some of us quit before we've even begun.

Because of this we really can't complain when things don't go our way or when we never see our dreams actualized. We have sabotaged ourselves. We have acted as our own worst enemies simply because we failed to fight, even when we knew in our heart of hearts that it is worth fighting for. We simply rolled over and went back to sleep. And lived to dream emptily another day.

Too Many Apologies

2008-10-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

By Cherina Jones

Pennsylvania representative, John Murtha apologized recently for calling western Pennsylvania racist. He said, “no question that western Pennsylvania is a racist area,” as quoted by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on their website.

We all have our opinions about one thing or another. This political season has left a lot of coffee tables burning with disdain from the opinions we have had about this elections. I am one who believes that if you mean something and you say it, then it’s yours. We believe what we believe until someone can lead us down a different path. If I make inferences or flat out call someone a racist, then that is what I believe, no apologies needed. Racism exists in this country, that’s fact. People are racist, that too is fact. This election is certainly bringing out a lot of racist people. Jeremiah Wright was certainly taken to task and accused of being a racist. I certainly disagree, as one cannot negate the facts, and we certainly should not be shooting down the messenger for stating the facts.

I don’t think that John Murtha should have apologized for his statement. I am sure, because he represents southwest Pennsylvania, that he would be familiar with the community there. The apology, as most apologies have been, are political. Men and women who support one candidate or another tip toeing around their true opinions, remaining silent or profusely apologizing for comments they have made seems a little inauthentic. I am sure Mr. Murtha meant exactly what he said, but not to ruin the Obama/Biden campaign, he had to apologize. I don’t think the nastiest of racists should apologize for obnoxious comments they make either. I don’t think Don Imus should have apologized, especially if his apology was insincere. I am not condoning what he said, nor do I believe that the Rutgers basketball team was undeserving of an apology. I think we give people the benefit of the doubt for misspeaking, when in fact they meant exactly what they said. I think Americans want honesty, but when presented with honesty, we become disgusted and demand an apology. There is of course a time and place for all comments, I can’t disagree there, but as Americans we should be ready to take in what as a country we have created—good, down home racists.

Tragedy

2008-10-27T03:59:00.000-07:00

By Saundra Bunton

I was immediately shocked upon hearing the news about Jennifer Hudson's family and send my sincerest condolences to her and those closest to her. I can only imagine what they may be feeling in the wake of this terrible tragedy. It is even harder to imagine going through something like this with the entire world watching. Tragic, then, that a superstar cannot even be afforded the privacy of grief. Is there nothing that is sacred anymore?

Bad Bad Teacher

2008-10-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

By Cherina Jones

There was a time when we trusted our teachers to teach us as well as protect us. Although they were not our real parents, our parents did hand off the torch of discipline and responsibility to them. As kids, most of us respected and feared our teachers, but most importantly they were often times second tier role models (our parents being first).

I am always revolted when I read news stories about teachers molesting children or teens. It’s normal for kids to have crushes on teachers, but when teachers engage students, it’s shamefully inappropriate.

I came across a site called Bad Bad Teacher Here there are shameful (or shameless) teachers who have engaged in sexual relationships with their students. It is really a sad day when we have to protect our kids from predator teachers.

Friends...

2008-10-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

By Saundra Bunton

Our friends are a reflection of the people we are. We spend our time with people who share the same hobbies, likes and interests. When we meet someone new and we find that they also have a secret indulgence for reality television we squeal with delight and hope that they never betray our giddiness. We know exactly which friend to call for exactly which activity – movie night is for one friend, club night for another, and socially mature dinner night with yet another friend. We know which friends to trust with the deepest darkest secrets, and we know when to be a little secretive around our friends. In fact we probably know why our friends are moody or secretive or upset even before they tell us; such is the nature of friendship. True friendship is truly knowing a person, their ins and outs, and in order to know another person you must know yourself at least a little bit, enough to share yourself with someone else and enough to see yourself in your friends.

Because of this, it could be argued that since we’ve chosen these people to be a part of our lives, to share our secrets, to join our inner circle and know us in ways that few ever will, our friends must share aspects of our personalities. They probably could finish your sentences if you would stop talking long enough for them to interject. They know exactly what you need to hear when you’re sad and disappointed, and they even know the right way to scold you when you need to be yelled at. They know this because they know what they need if they were in your position and they know that you will do and say the same for them when the wheel of fortune has turned. Even though it is said that opposites attract the fact is that if you have very little in common with a person, what would be the basis for the relationship? This is especially true when it comes to friendships. Your friends are probably like you in more ways than you’d ever realized.

It is hard to conceptualize why a person would keep a friend around who is entirely unlike him, who has nothing in common with him, and who does not share any aspect of his personality. This friend would never truly understand, with a friend’s heart, why you would go to your cousin’s birthday party when you and your cousin never did get along. This friend would never know the right thing to say when you are in crisis or when you are just upset for the sake of being upset. This friend would get tired of constantly having to explain himself when you fail to understand his perspective on things. And when would you and this friend spend time together, if you have no common hobbies, likes, or interests? How hard would either of you fight to maintain a friendship like this?

The above is a shallow examination of friendship, because on a deeper level friendship is more than just hanging out with another person or liking the same movies. It is about seeing the best in others and wanting to align ourselves with that. It is about creating allies who will work with us and for us, so that we can be encouraged to aspire and dream and we can inspire our friends in return. In fact our friends are – and must be – an indicator of the values that we hold dear, for our friends personify the qualities that we find valuable in the human race. If honesty is important to us then we will demand that our friends are honest and truthful, no matter how much it hurts for us to receive or give the truth. If compassion is essential then we will align ourselves with people who have hearts of gold, who are kind and considerate, who know how to nurture others. If we value courage then our friends will have warrior spirits, they will have the ability to face danger without being overcome by fear, and will not be deflected from the course of action that they’ve chosen.

What is interesting about “seeing the best” is that it means something different for all of us, so there may be people in your life that you hold dear to you, but that others wouldn’t go near with a ten foot pole. In these instances you have to either examine your own perceptions or hold steadily to what you believe. If you are certain that a person you have chosen deserves to be considered a friend of yours, then you should defend them to the end – but be prepared to live through the consequences or responsibilities of that choice. For if at some point they prove another person’s observation of them to be true, you will be faced with an obstacle to overcome. If, however, your instincts prove to be true, then you will have secured a most valuable ally, who will never forget your diligence and loyalty in being their friend.

What is problematic about “seeing the best” is that just because the potential is there doesn’t mean the friend will ever choose to actualize this. You can find yourself with a friend who constantly talks about her dreams, goals, and aspirations, but never works towards making those dreams a reality. If you choose to work tirelessly towards the actualization of your goals, eventually you will leave this friend behind, and no amount of potential or hopefulness will ever bring them up to your level. Even if they were always encouraging of your success and your pursuit of your dreams, your personality will change, and thus this person will be a reflection of where you were, not where you are or where you newly aspire to be.

What is difficult about “seeing the best” is when a friend has a hard time expressing this type of admiration in return. When a friend cannot be supportive of where you are heading in your path. When a friend stops being encouraging of your success and your pursuit of your dreams. When a so-called friend chooses to negatively criticize and condemn you. More than likely this friend was, at some point or another, someone with whom you shared interests, likes, and hobbies, but, as in the previous example, you have begun to change and this change threatens them, maybe even inspires envy in them. It is then that you realize the friendship was always one-sided, that this friend never saw the best in you, the potential in you, and this leaves you to wonder why they aligned themselves with you in the first place.

In any case, what is important to note is that our friendships are not immutable. Just as life is subject to cycles of change and transformation, we will eventually need to reformat our groups and inner circles to best suit our new perspectives, our new needs, our new ideas, and our new directions. Most of us would like to hope that our friends evolve and grow at the same rate, pace and direction as we do, so that we can keep them close to us for as long as possible, but simultaneously we know that this is an unrealistic expectation. In order for us to move with the cycles of life, we must accept this inevitable truth: friendships are rarely meant to last lifetimes.

To Vote or Not to Vote

2008-10-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

By Monica Scott

I find myself both loving and loathing my status as an African American. I love when the Olympics comes around every four years. It’s a time I enjoy being part of some of a national collective. It’s perhaps the only time I truly feel American. Sometimes I recognize the dreams of new immigrants in the overwhelming opportunity and freedom available here. Other times I cannot see past the depression and poverty in many urban cities and rural towns to notice opportunity of any kind. Sometimes I am happy to engage in the political process, while other times I find the process annoying and trite.

Many conjure images of our ancestors marching and being jailed and hosed down as reasons to vote. I have often said the same. I voted because not only did I think my vote counted, but also because of the “sacrifices” many made so that I could. It was the typical adage to the framers of the rights we now have, and often take for granted. Yet and still, my ancestor’s sacrifices were for an America they idealized. They envisioned equality. They marched to integrate schools thinking that better opportunities would be available to our people if we had access to better facilities and textbooks. However, many of today’s public schools are more segregated than prior to the Supreme Court’s 1954 ruling in Brown v. Board.1 And the mostly-Black segregated schools are among the poorest in the nation! Our ancestor’s also sought economic equality. Unfortunately, reports have shown that Black Americans seeking loans to purchase homes and small businesses are turned down up to five times more than their white counterparts.2 So, what am I to make of these things? What do I do when the only available options on the ballot may be options I despise or simply am indifferent toward? Am I honoring my ancestors if I vote just because I can? Is that really why they sacrificed so much?

The reality of voting for the “lesser of two evils” is that evil will still win. If I am to truly honor and respect the sacrifices made during the Civil Rights Movement, then I must not vote just to vote. My vote must be purposeful and a purpose-filled vote includes me only voting based on my personal vision. There are times, too, that my personal vision includes abstaining from voting altogether. The right to vote, as our ancestors so humbly fought, is inclusive of the right not to vote too! Their struggles were really about the “right.” They wanted the “right” to choose what school they would send their children. They wanted the “right” to choose who would lead their cities and states. They wanted the “right” to participate in and receive the civil liberties granted in the Constitution. They wanted the “right” to decide. They decided to vote. Sometimes I may decide not to vote. And that’s my right.

Liberating Minds

2008-10-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

By Glennisha Morgan

“We have to talk about liberating minds as well as liberating society.”-Angela Davis.

Miss Davis couldn’t have said it any better. Today we live in a society where almost everyone is homophobic. Almost everyone believes that Muslims are terrorists and truthfully a lot of people aren’t voting for a presidential candidate simply because he’s Black. There is something wrong with that. A huge change definitely needs to take place but, where? It needs to take place in the minds of people. People have got to open their minds and open their eyes.

Food For Thought...
· Skin color has nothing to do with a person’s capability to run a country,
· Your definition of marriage or a committed relationship isn’t necessarily omeone else’s.

· Africa is a continent not a country.
· Just because other countries do things differently than your country doesn’t make them wrong or make what your country does right.
· Just because someone reveals to you that they’re gay doesn’t mean they want you.
· No religion is truly better than another.
· Most real terrorist groups were started because their country or their people have been oppressed, so can we truly call defending yourself and country terrorism?
· Bisexuals are not confused.
· The world isn’t just Black and White.

Pointing Out A Spade

2008-10-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

By Cherina Jones

As Barack Obama pushes past all of those in disbelief of the possibility of his presidency, there is indeed something for whites to fear: their misjudgment about blacks. This country was built on the stilts of racism, and although many of us are upright forward thinking black and WHITE men and women, this election is sifting out the racists.

Someone directed me to a photo of a man on a bike who had a Mccain/Palin bumper sticker or license plate card (could not tell which). He wore a T-shirt that said “Nigger PLEASE!!! It’s a White House.” I typically laugh these things off. I chalk it to ignorance and neatly package excuses for these kinds of people in the vein of “they don’t know any better.”

But they do.

The notion of Barack Obama being president, was just that—a notion. Now that Obama is two steps away from the White House, white people are running scared. It is the kind of scared that played itself out during pre-reconstruction, in the form of black bodies hanging from trees, or in the form of water hoses brutally dosing black skin during the civil rights movement. Blacks have never been subordinate to whites. It is a myth that had to continue to live in order for white supremacy to survive this long. All of America and most of the world is inundated constantly with negative images of the black community in the media. The media is where we get most of our information, so it is not surprising how far preposterous myths can travel. Negativity is alive and well in all communities, especially white communities. Blacks are no more violent and no less intelligent than whites, yet in many parts of this country people still believe that. It’s not sad, it’s shameful and a reflection of America.

Let’s call a spade a spade: white people don’t want to lose their privilege. Since the genesis of this country there has been a white man ahead of it. The idea that a black man can and will be ahead of this nation threats white privilege (not to say that his presidency will end white privilege). The soon to be fact of a black presidency completely negates the myth of blacks being subordinate, blacks being less intelligent, blacks being violent animals. The makeup of America is smearing and the truth is coming to light, and not a plastic surgeon in this world can embellish what America has been passing along as truth.