The Sanctity of Questionable Behavior

By Cherina Jones



I came across this video on a message board. In general I was disgusted. My secondary thought was that I was afraid for these women. My last, but somehow not so fleeting thought was, rape. Young women are often preached to about how to present themselves. We are taught to act like young ladies, hands folded, legs crossed, and encouraged to hold unto our virginities for the right man. Men are taught that “men are men,” as a subtle way to say, “put your dick anywhere.” The double standards between men and women at times makes no sense to me, and to teach young men that lack of self control is OK or a trait of being a man is pretty played at this point.

The question was asked, whether or not these women deserved to be touched. You would think a resounding “hell no” would cover it, but men and women alike argue that what you have on can give others the right to make you a sexual buffet. Really? Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of women dress for attention and that speaks to insecurities, and I am sure they expect and want men to notice. It however becomes an issue of safety when a woman can grab the attention of a mob of men, tempting them to act—tempting, not telling.

Sure, when you go to the club, expect inappropriate things to happen. Nice conversation and an exchange about what your favorite movie is, is probably not going to happen. To expect to be respected is not so unrealistic, but horniness and alcohol does not produce a respectable night.

The moral of this story is simple really, even though we know how men should act, we need to be real honest with ourselves as women as to how they are going to act. I saw the angry faces of some of these women in that video, who walked through that crowd of men—drive by ass slapping in progress. But as women we have the responsibility to be mindful as well. Wear what you wear, but if you don’t want to be touched, slapped or fondled, why test the waters by sashaying through a crowd of sexually uncontrolled men who clearly can’t keep their hands to themselves? Women who do this WANT the attention, but they are not prepared most times for when that want becomes reality and spirals out of control. Yeah I know homegirl, you should be able to walk down the street butt ass naked, daring a muthafucka to touch your voluptuous bod (yes bod), but that is not how a lot of men choose to act when you go to clubs like these. Be mindful, travel in groups and most of all, carry your mace.